just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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