She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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