the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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