i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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