get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
