I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
