you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
