It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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