We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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