She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
