dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You're my little dorito
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
