I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
