i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
