People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Randomize
