please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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