forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
