do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
