Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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