Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
