i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
