we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
