just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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