So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
