dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
