wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
