I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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