We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
