so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
