Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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