It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we're making bets on your personal life
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
