Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize