We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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