Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
