i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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