well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Randomize
