whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
