I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
