I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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