I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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