I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
