So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
