I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
