she looked like the before picture.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
