some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
