Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
