Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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