so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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