guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
you had me at cake vodka
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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