I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There's always time for handjobs
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
