Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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