Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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