I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
